The End of the Party

The Pity Party is over. I officially ended it at midnight. This morning I rolled the tv out of my bedroom. I've started to clean my house and get ready for work. The new Springsteen CD is playing on my iPod Punkin. (It's FAB-U-LOUS!) I'm preparing to dye my gray roots so I can shower and dress for the day. It's going to take a while to clean the disaster I've wreaked in this house. One step at a time.

As I'm picking up I spot a quilt lying in the corner of the office. I accidentally caught it on fire with a candle a couple of weeks ago. There is a 8 inch hole burnt into it. I held it trying to decide if I should toss it. It was made by an elderly friend of mine who died a year ago. She was a character whom I still miss. As I head to the laundry I walk through my kitchen and it hits me. The pug is really and truly gone. He is not coming back. This isn't some nightmare. This is real. My life is well and truly changed.

I don't know what to do. I can cry and I can wail, but it doesn't change anything. The Pity Party is over. It's time to start this new chapter in my life. I will always miss the pug. I am grateful my love for him is still and forever a part of me. I am so glad my friend didn't listen to me and made me get him that day some 14 years ago. I am glad I suffered through the ABC's (already been chewed) with him. I am glad I cared for him.

The pug is gone. And I am going to honor him by taking care of someone he loved very much.