Sweet Gnome Alabama

So Mav comes up missing on Tuesday and I start calling all of my friends grilling them trying to determine who is the guilty party. But one by one, the most obvious seem to have completely great alibis and seem as incredulous as we are by the story. I run out and buy yellow ribbon and start putting bows on all the crepe myrtles that line our property, and decorate our front porches.


The neighbors start out walking or driving by asking about the ribbons. Soon they are walking and driving on the other side of the street, a little leery of the crazy people. Daily we wonder, where is our gnome and will he ever come home?

Sunday evening "The Sopranos" ends and my sister goes upstairs to her room. I'm on the couch watching "Big Love" when I hear one knock at the door. I turn hurriedly to the window and peek out the slats, but the front door is not in view. I see lights on the side street. As I jump the loveseat and open the door a car is speeding off and Mav now sits in his usual space. A picture developing envelope sits next to him.

I grab it and rush in screaming for Pam. Unfortunately she has her cheap Target fan on which makes enough white noise to mask the sound of the nearby TV helicopter landing on our roof. I run up the stairs, open her door and holler, "He's back."

Unfortunately, the pug has been violently ill and she thinks I said, "He's bad." After the last few months, she's inclined to rush to worse case scenarios. She immediately jumps up and screams, "Oh my God..." and nearly starts crying. I correct her telling her the gnome is home and now she's too furious to process. She shakes off the terror and comes downstairs to puruse the envelope contents with me.



Inside is a letter, pictures and a CD. The letter reads,
"Howdy! After 1600 miles of road passed beneath us, your gnome has returned! 'Tyler' has a story to tell... But alas, he was born a mute. May he be met with exciting travels again - The Traveler."

We looked at the pictures.



Pam wonders if they are real. Maybe they just superimposed Mav on the locations. I start examining them on the computer.



They look real to me. The lighting is right and there are no obvious signs of cut and paste.







So what is with the name "Tyler?" It just doesn't seem right to me. I'm glad he had a great time, and we're really thrilled they brought him home. But here's the thing that really gets my goat...




Not even I have been to Graceland, and the gnome gets there before me?!


Oh, and just one more thing... Does anyone recognize anyone in this picture? If so, please let me know, because I think they may have an idea who took the gnome without even asking me to tag along!