A Bit of Musicality, Please...

There is no excuse really. I try and try to think of why I would do something so ridiculously repulsive and sad. No matter what, I can't fathom the reason. And my shame only grows greater as I realize I've done nothing to rectify the problem…

The life I had just a few months ago, barely resembles the one I'm living now. My job of ten years, which was so routine, is now gone. I am working from home in a position I create as I go along. I've no office to go to each day, no co-workers with whom to discuss the routine gossip of one's life. I get up in the morning, make coffee, feed the dogs and then go to work my study which was once my breakfast nook.

Yes, you read correctly, dogs. I told you, EVERYTHING about my life changed. My sister, who lost her home in New Orleans during Katrina, now lives in my guest room. Our home now also includes a dachshund which belongs to my brother's family. They also lost a home and relocated. Their landlord doesn't allow pets. The dog was staying with other family but their home was quickly damaged when Rita swung through just weeks later. So the pug and I are learning to live with others. On the good side, we've cleaned out loads of items, bought new furniture and the place looks fabulous. Also, I've someone with whom I can watch the Gilmore Girls and shop endlessly.

Amongst the challenges is the fact that the pug and I can no longer lie together on the couch. He is now regulated to his bed, which is usually the second best as the dachshund always gets dib on the bigger and better bed. I feel guilty the dachshund will feel left out, so the pug no longer sleeps in bed with me. Ok, I admit, I also bought a new comforter that I dread the pug getting sick on.

I feel like I'm wearing not only someone else's underwear, but their skin as well. It's like I'm on vacation or a business trip and I'm waiting to get home. I'm not sure I can really explain it. In some ways it's all better. In some ways it's not. In some ways it's just…well different.

So anyway, I work in my study, my office space in an armoire that closes to look like a china hutch. My iMac sits on a desk next to me. I've started playing my iTunes library on shuffle mode. My library is an eclectic mix of … well….everything. There is no explanation of my taste. Plenty of Broadway, 80's punk, 60's/70's folk songs, blues, R&B, Texas Country, headbanger music my nephews downloaded. While sitting today I heard the Indigo Girls, Hairspray, Bruce Springsteen, Lyle Lovett, Charles Aznavour and Jefferson Starship.

WAIT! Jefferson Starship?????!!!!! Yes indeedy, I'm sitting here and what do I hear but "We Built This City". Would someone please explain to me how in the hell did this get in my library? I mean it, why? I strive and strive to remember but nothing comes to me. Surely, none of my nieces or nephews would have an interest in such trite crap. And as I've always despised the song since I first heard it, I can't imagine I downloaded it out of nostalgia. I've got to erase it. What if I get in a wreck and die and someone discovers it in my library? What will they think of me? Ahh, Liz Phair, just what I need to soothe my ruffled feathers. People will think I have musical taste. They will not be overwhelmed by one insipidly lame song, right?